There’s a train leaving…

Quote

There’s a train leaving your heart tonight.
There’s a silence inside your head and you’re running from it.
Down the tracks on a midnight line.
There’s a red moon in the sky and you’re running from it.
But I’m coming for you wherever you go.
Wrestling angels till dawn breaks through
There’s a blessing in the wound and you’re running from it.
When all your demons are at your door
it’s a soldier they’re looking for and you’re running from it.
But I’m coming for you wherever you go.
Across the sea, the space between everything you think
You know – the things you keep and bury deep underneath
The melting snow – I’ll follow.
I’ll follow.
Fathers & mothers don’t always come through
but I’m never gonna stop following you
Prophets and lovers don’t always hold true
but I’m never gonna stop falling for you
So when your wine’s all gone and your well runs dry,
Open your hands and look into my eyes; all that you see here,
you’ll soon leave behind, so open your hands and look into my eyes

– Audrey Assad

Know

As the dew falls on the blade
You have touched all this fragile frame
And as a mother knows her baby’s face
You know me, You know me

As the summer air within my chest
I have breathed You deep down into my breast
And as You know the hairs upon my head
Every thought and every word I’ve said
Every thought and every word I’ve said

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

Oh, and as the exhilaration of autumn’s bite
Oh, You have brought these tired bones to brilliant life
And as the swallow knows, she knows the sky
This is how it is with You and I
Oh, this is how it is with You and I

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

From the fall of my heart to the resurrection of my soul
You know me, God, and You know my ways
In my rising and my sitting down
You see me as I am, oh, see me as I am

And as a lover knows his beloved’s heart
All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark
Oh, You have formed one in my inward parts
And You know me, You know me, yes

Savior, You, You have known me as I am
Oh, healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known

You have known me, in the morning, in the evening
You’ve known me, God
In the morning, in the evening You have known me
Yeah, You’ve know me

You have always known me
You know me, God, You have known me
You have always known my heart

8 takes Friday

1. I am enjoying this summer like no other since having Michaela. I think it’s due in part to how much more she’s talking and how much fun it is to hang with her and watch her interact with her brother. I was so ready for this summer. The winter was a challenging one. This summer however has been a refreshing change of pace. The kids and I go to a local pool for a treat once a week or so and make some fun memories. Yesterday we swam for the afternoon with one of my dear girl friends and one of Michaela’s best bud’s. We burned up lots of spare energy, came home exhausted, sunned out and happy. I filled our big tub “really high” with water and loaded the kids in. Got snacks for everyone and then we all got comfy on my bed and watched a movie. I laid down with Michaela and held her for a while before she drifted off to sleep. I’ve found that to be a special time for both of us. Time for me to pray and reflect on her and it means an awful lot to her to have the physical closeness. I think that might be her primary love language.

2.  Ransom has almost 4 teeth that sprouted almost overnight this past month. He’ll be 11 months August 11th! He’s standing unassisted now but I am so not ready for him to start walking any time soon. He’s taken 2 steps so far but I don’t think he has much interest in walking just yet (phew). Can I just be honest and say I’m loving his babyhood and I AM NOT ready for him to grow up just yet! He’s the sweetest little boy. All mothers say that  about their sons, right?!

3. Michaela is a chatterbox inching towards a mature little 3 year old! I just love the talking and how well she’s communicating now. It thrills me to hear her thought spill out. She wants to dress just like me and is really into skirts these days but last winter all she wanted to wear was jeans. She is also into saying “I Kia, I girrrrrl!!! I big girrrl, I wear big girl panties, I not a baby anymore, Ransom baby!” Cracks me up. She’s so uninhibited and she feels free to show completely the entire spectrum between joy and sorrow. She’s teaching me a lot about being free in my emotions to not fear experiencing them and to let them run their course (not in a damaging way but more in a recognize and sit with them way).

4. On that note this past year I’ve realized how easy it is to be seeking things to “numb” the hard things. I’m not talking drugs here, I’m talking distractions. Feelings are meant to be felt. The good and the bad emotions. We can’t selectively numb. If we numb out the frustration, pain and anger we also numb out the sheer joy of living and the thrill of our baby’s soft skin, our toddler’s babbles and joy over play doh. It reminds me of what Sara Groves sings:

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I’m going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that’s honest and real until I’m truly amazed
I’m going to feel all my emotions
I’m going to look you in the eyes
I’m going to listen and hear until it’s finally clear and it changes our lives

Sara Grove’s writing always resonates with me on a deep level. I absolutely love her latest album. It made me cry and cry when I listened to it when I was first pregnant with Ransom and didn’t know it. Later when the two lines showed up I realized why I was crying every time I listened. 😉

5. I’m really glad to be back and I feel a little like I might burst at the seams with all the posts I want to write. I’m trying to balance things. I have a feeling waves of posts will come and go. But I prefer blogs that have times of activity paired with times of rest and silence. I guess it’s a natural rhythm I crave.

6. I’m taking an herbal remedy called IsoCort for my adrenal fatigue and it’s helping more than anything else I’ve ever tried. It’s truly amazing. I’m extremely thankful for it. I only take one super small tablet in the morning and I’m good to go. If I am extra stressed I might take one more dose. But the changes in my energy and overall well-being have been dramatic. I highly recommend looking into it if you have issues. Start with the lowest dose and see how you feel. It’s actually a very cheap supplement esp. if you are only taking a small dosage.

7. I’ve been so challenged by A Holy Experience’s blog to focus more on the Unseen Things, and not the seen. Why is it so much easier to mop a floor or clean a bathroom than it is to make a child’s eyes light up with wonder or tend the garden of my child’s soul? I am finding that when I slow down and remind myself that this moment is so fleeting and it’s all we have, these microscopic moments as Ann Voskamp says. This video really blessed me. Oh Lord, help me to focus on the unseen things and to focus on loving Your people!

8. Here’s a song I’m sharing: Kari Jobe~No Sweeter Name

I hope you’re weekend is filled with enjoying God’s goodness!

journey

After taking a break from writing,  I’ve decided to come back to a new home. God’s been opening a new chapter in my heart and this is where I’ll share parts of the journey He’s taking me on as I walk onward as God’s child, a wife and mother. I’ve been missing an outlet for the thoughts that scramble inside me as I mop floors, make toast and give baths. It is a place that I will be able to look back and remember both the spiritual journey and truths God is showing me and the precious and yet very daily and easily forgotten small memories of my life with little ones. I hope that this is a place that will refresh women in their corner of creation and remind me that this journey I’m on is is beautiful when I walk in God’s strength.