Until Home and Promised Land and complete clarity, I’m a wanderer crossing bridges, wanderer eating manna, eating mystery. For really, as long as I live, travel, is there ever anything else to eat? I either take the “what is it?” manna with thanks, eat the mystery of the moment with trust, and am nourished another day–or refuse it…and die. Jesus calls me to surrender and there’s nothing like releasing fears and falling into peace. It terrifies me, true. But it exhilarates. This, this is what I’ve always wanted and never knew this utter trust this enlivening fall of surrender into safe hands. There is no joy without trust! –1,000 Gifts pg. 158
Love God and do what you please _St. Augustine
I’m choosing contentment with the messes of life. Yes, there will be plenty of things in my life I would prefer not to have but I’m not going to just give up on them and get discouraged when things don’t go as I’d like them too. Yes, the floors are almost always dirty. Our clothes are almost always out of the drawers and closets and the laundry is almost never caught up on completely but I’m choosing joy and contentment right now because it’s THE right thing. It’s the way to live with joy now instead of wanting the illusive moment of perfection. I’m going to have to wait a while for perfection. It’s coming but it’s an echo for a world in which righteousness dwells perfectly. For now though Jesus calls us to Himself to come and gain a quiet content heart.
If you expect perfection or nothing you will always end up with nothing.
At first I didn’t want to look at it at all for that matter even hold the jar. I brought it upstairs and put it as far away and told myself that my husband could let it out somewhere far from our house. But first I did need to do our home school duty and show my daughter and let her learn a little more about spiders. I explained it was a mama spider and other sorts of information in my most “I am not scared” matter of fact voice. Kia was fascinated. We talked for a while. Andrew ended up not letting that spider go for several weeks actually and I began to look at it every few days I’d pick up the jar and look at the spider. Each day with less trepidation. Soon the spider didn’t bother me much. Today I found another of her kind and swiftly dealt with it. No biggie.It struck me suddenly that I had become desensitized to the horror of spiders. I realized it has also happened somewhat with my more dreaded fear of snakes since we had a mama snake have her babies in our window well. I see lots of snakes and while I don’t like them they don’t make me die with fright either like they used too.
Exposure treatment works and in our hearts in regards to sin it works too well. When I tolerate that “little” sin of complaining to creep in. When the horror leaves after I’ve gone off on a tirade of frustration. When it’s no longer a big deal to allow some of the world to shape my ideas, my entertainment, my limits, my style. When not praying is just “being too busy” and perfectly “normal” for a mother. The “tiny” black widows slip in and well, we allow them to crawl behind a curtain in our life and sit there having babies making themselves comfortable in our turf. We begin to not notice them. Just as the dust accumulates in my house I notice it less and less. How the clothes on my dresser just stack and I don’t notice until it’s to the ceiling. We don’t notice the ordinary sins in our life, we tolerate them. The constant exposure deadens us to what it is actually doing to us. The danger we are in.
Today I told God to please not allow me to live with any sin releasing it’s toxic gas into the air of my heart. I want to live with a pure heart one that is constantly cleansed by coming to Christ for forgiveness as soon as I’m aware I’ve relied on my flesh instead of His Spirit. I want to come right back into His presence and communion. I want to walk in that sweet peace and communion. I don’t want the spiders and snakes of sin to live in my heart and not notice them until it’s too late and they’ve allowed death to wreak havoc on my heart and those I love. I want to live in the fullness of Christ’s inheritance for me. That fullness means that I don’t have to live blind to my sin. God’s Spirit is so willing and desires to show us how to walk, how to please Him in every way. How to walk in His power and abide in the Branch resting in His sap for the life to walk in holiness.
The words we speak over our lives are powerful. When we speak words of complaint, fear, bitterness and envy over our days we will reap and live in those dark and worldly, hopeless place. Satan will have reign to create chaos and we will believe what we say to ourselves.
You see, when we say negative things Satan works to build strongholds in our minds. The enemy, Satan, wants us to concentrate on our problems until we get to the point that we realize the whole thing is hopeless and no one-not even God can help us out of our mess. Let me tell you that is just not true. When we are faced with setbacks, it is really important to make a decision not to focus on your problem~ as hard as that may be. Instead focus on God and begin speaking Gods word. When we focus on God, we realize that with God all things are possible. This is called casting down imaginations and holding captive the negative thoughts and words in our mind.(II Corinthians 10:5) Negative thoughts will continue to enter your mind but you can choose not to let those in to take root and grow into a stronghold. Be at peace, calm and relaxed. Remember God will fight our battles for us, so worrying doesn’t make it easier for God to work- actually it makes it harder. If you choose to stay in an attitude of faith and peace it makes it easier for God to work. It also makes it easier to start reciting and speaking God’s word over our problems. Remember what the enemy, Satan, intends for harm God can make it work out for good.(Genesis 50:20) -Beth Rimstidt
When our mouths want to proclaim that “we don’t have enough time” or “we’re overwelmed” or “too tired” or when your marriage feels dry. When we are tempted by waves of doubt, pain, loneliness or anxiety we must remind ourselves who our God is: proclaim to ourselves say it outloud find a song and sing it: God You are my Healer, You are my strength, You are my Shield, You are my Rock of Refuge. You are my Shepherd and I shall lack no good thing. You restore my soul. Your grace IS sufficient. You are always with me and You comfort me. You sing songs of joy over me and delight in me. You are pleased with me through Jesus Christ. His blood has washed me and made me a new creature. I am alive to You and You are my life. My life is hidden in You and the evil one cannot touch me. Proclaim the truths about who our God is to you and proclaim that you will not be held captive by words of death but only words of life. Words of Truth. Meditate on these things. For me often I’ll have Scripture and worship songs on during the day. Or I’ll have a journal open with a short sentence of Truth on it in the kitchen and glance at it while cooking or cleaning. I have a pen near by to write down new sentances of truth as God reminds me of Scripture or a word of encouragement.
When you are with your children, husband or a friend remind yourself to boldy proclaim words of life to your friends and don’t allow them to speak proclomations of death on themselves or yourself. Satan spoke through Peter and Jesus told Satan to get behind Him. Even Christians at times can speak words from the evil one and we must be bold and rebuke words of death and in stead proclaim words of life over ourselves, families and friends. Our inhertitance is great in Christ and we must live out of those riches, our riches in Christ–His goodness which is ours in Him. Our God is RICHLY generous and full of compassion to us. He has so much for us. Let’s dive deep into His goodness for us. “He who did not spare His own Son, won’t He freely give us all things?
No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD and their vindication from me, declares the LORD.” Isaiah 54:17
When your mind wanders to the tasks ahead of you, whether it’s training and schooling your children or dealing with chronic illness or facing challenges in relationships and Satan whispers “how do you think you can do all this?” Let us agree that in and off ourselves yes we are not in our own strength able but then let us boldly proclaim that our new strength is found in Christ who is our LIFE. He is more than enough for us and He will give us all the stregnth we need. He will be our all. Lord, tell us again who we are to You! Revive us with Your Truth. May we meditate on it day and night. May we boldly speak it over our children, friends and ourselves.
To accept His will with thanksgiving is contentment.
What if God’s will for me today is a sticky floor, sticky faces to kiss, diapers to change and an achy body to carry around? What if His will is unpleasant to my flesh? Repulsive to my self life? Give thanks. Those very moments when flesh revolts I will give extra thanks and remember the joy found in dying to that old self. Give thanks for these reminders that I am dead to you, flesh. I am alive to Him, my Husband and Maker. These very days are where we remember we have been set apart, we no longer live in dominion to our flesh. We have died, our life is now hidden in Christ. His will is ours. His will is sweet, not to our flesh but to our spirit in Him. Thank God for motherhood, for in it I see how I cannot live this life without His grace. All grace.
Motherhood how sweet you are to a crucified Christian. How sweet it is to find we don’t have strength except in our Lord. It’s a beautiful thing to know this is the will of God for me today, yes even these tiny precious love hungry hearts, sticky floors and sinks of dishes. To do Your will is my delight. We have the mind of Christ, let us live in that.
He’s asking me to die to other’s thoughts of my dirt smudged house.
To come to Him with a quiet, hungry heart.
To die to this flesh that cries for other lovers.
My heart longs for stead fast love, unfailing love.
The sirens call, I go to the world’s streams.
Returning, withering, heart panting for something Solid, something True.
Oh to die Jesus calls me.
To die, yes, but oh that death is life. Joy.
A constant denying of every lover, everything that deadens me to Joy to my Life, my Husband.
“God does not share His glory with us; therefore He is obliged to bring us from failure to failure – not however to end in discouragement, but that we may come to condemn and abhor ourselves. Then when we have found there is no more anything to hope for in ourselves, we learn to come in a new way – perhaps after a long career of Christian profession – as undone ones at His feet; ready now, on the ground of our dreadful experience, to be introduced into the Divine simplicity of a life like Christ by the Holy Spirit, who never ceases to work even when we are halting at the first steps of Christ’s redemption. He introduces us, through the Holy Scriptures, into the simplicity of Divine secrets when we are yielded up to Him in full despair about ourselves and in despair of bringing forth anything worthy of Christ and of God. Then we learn how all must be done by Him in us and that the Holy Ghost waits to show His power to transform us into the image of Christ, even through our very failures.”—Otto Stockmayer
This sums it up…God must bring us to see that there is “no good thing, residing in my flesh” and that I can not make myself grow the fruits of the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh. No, it’s by death that God comes and takes His place and lives in us. His fruit comes from His abiding in us. When flesh is ruling, He’s not abiding. 1 John and Romans talk about this. It’s a moment by moment thing. I can’t feed my flesh and expect to be living in Christ’s light or joy. Lord, give light and open our hearts to You.
An encouragement to all of us when we face trials of any shape or sort, remember, these are some of our Lord’s greatest mercies to us:
“The deepest death to self lies in the motives and intentions, hence this all-consuming motive to want to be nothing but a capacity for Christ to live in lies at the foundation of the death of self and the highest life of Christ. With this pure motive fixed in the heart, we are to habitually and willingly accept of every occasion for humiliation and self-abasement which God’s providence brings to us. While on the one hand we are neither to make or seek a cross, on the other hand we are to sweetly and willingly accept of every blow, or mortification, or inconvenience, or painful annoyance which comes to us in the order of God’s providential will. Humiliation is the very quintessence of the Christ-life, and we must appreciate every opportunity of sinking into humility. Hence when reproaches, unkind treatment, poverty, loneliness, persecution, mental distresses, seeming failure in our work, disappointments, deep perplexities, or any disagreeable thing comes to us, if we are in a state of divine recollection, we are to calmly face these things as appropriate occasions for losing our own will and letting the omnipotence of God take charge of them. We can thereby in these humiliations be more delicately and firmly knit to the will of God.”—G. D. Watson
I found an article that explains what God’s been showing my heart lately. For years I had wondered at the references to “Abiding in Christ”. I’d prayed and desired that in my life however the concept never seemed to realize in me for very long. I just kept going back to relying on myself to have patience and even though I’d ask God for it. I guess I didn’t really believe He’d give it to me. I think I kept getting out of the abiding also by saying I sure don’t “feel like I’m abiding” or take how I felt that moment as proof I was or wasn’t abiding. Trusting my feelings is a huge mistake I’m realizing. My feelings are easily swayed as my husband says by even what we ate the night before. I need to bank my mind set on what the word says. This is what grounds us. Since I’ve gotten married and had children especially I’ve seen that my flesh cannot give the fruits of the Spirit. I can’t live relying on my self. Now, God is showing me that believing the promises of Christ and walking trusting God for His life to flow through me is the way we can walk in patience, joy, love and hope. I am by no means saying I am walking without sin because I stumble but these stumblings work as reminders to return to abiding in Jesus’s strength and power. Right away I have to fight the enemies accusations but those are silenced by looking to the cross and then reminding myself of my position in Christ. I want to live in my position not on the day to day “condition” of whether I’ve messed up or not. What a joy to walk in our position as holy and blameless in Christ! His fellowship is sweeter than any thing on earth. A godly lady told me that her fellowship with God is what she looks forward to more than anything else day or night. It is her greatest delight. When our hearts come to that we can know that the Spirit is abiding and we will walk in His joy and peace even if we are in a concentration camp like Corrie Ten Boom, or beaten and shipwrecked like Paul, or a mother with little sleep and cranky children! The Lord is our helper, we shall not be put to shame as we trust in Him!
For more on condition and position read The Green Letters. I have the hard copy at home but it’s all available online. It is a life changing book. I’ve been reading it the past year and bit by bit it’s been growing my view of myself and who I am because of the Gospel.
But may all who search for you be filled with joy and gladness in you. May those who love your salvation repeatedly shout, “God is great!” Ps. 70:4
What joy is found in being filled with God’s Spirit. The idols that my heart worshiped far too long “good ones” the world and might I even add much of Christendom chorused! Ones like a “clean house” “quiet and rest”, “folded laundry” and oh my the epitomy of goodness “the children and husband” stole both my joy and my energy. “We are wives, we must keep up with ‘the standards’.” I whispered to myself hourly, it had the ‘semblance of wisdom’. Oh yes, Satan often allows the appearance of godliness and wisdom to his most innocent sounding lies. These pretty faced lies however, as idols do they left me drained of inner strength and bitter. When my husband came home at the end of the day my circumstances determined my joy, my outlook. That’s the test you know: If you can’t rejoice right now with great and exceeding joy in your heart and shout God’s goodness to your children and husband at the end of the day then an idol has stolen your joy. I had forgotten what joy was. I thought it was something that people had once their children were over the age of 10, and had a clean house and well the list goes on. Praise God, He didn’t allow me to go on in my Baal worship.
When Christ in His grace awakened me again to the beauty and the sweetness of His loving fellowship I couldn’t bear to part with Him for a clean house and “perfect” children any day. Suddenly the Bible that had echoed hollow in my heart came new to me. God’s promises, His truth awoke afresh in me. Believing His Truth for each moment; whether a trial of feeling or circumstance. Today, I thirst that each step I take be one of a firm hope in God’s power to do what He’s promised. I want to take every word of God and bank all on it. Where else can I bank my joy? No other place. I’ve been far too miserable for far too long to ever bank my hope on anything else. God help me.
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you might abound in hope,through the power of the Holy Spirit. Rom 15:13